Jonny makes up a joke.

So, we're all at the table having lunch - chicken and grape baguettes, followed by rhubarb yoghurt.

And then Number One Son Jonny says, "I've just made up a joke", which he then proceeds to tell us ....

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all sitting around discussing their next movie roles in a film devoted to the Great Composers.

"I'm going to play Beethoven", says Stallone.

Bruce Willis responds with,"In that case, I'm going to be Mozart".

And Schwarzenegger gets up, walks to the door, and says, "I'll be Bach"

I told him I'd blog it. Just to be supportive.

Balaclavas and bears

Tony and Barry had one. I reckon half the kids in our class had one. But I didn’t. My mum wouldn’t even listen to me.

        ‘You’re not having a balaclava! What do you want a balaclava for in the middle of the summer?’

        I must have told her about ten times why I wanted a balaclava.

       ‘I want one so that I can join the Balaclava Boys . . . ‘

       ‘Go and wash your hands for tea, and don’t be so silly’

 The Fib and other stories – George Layton.

So this morning I had a phonecall from Bob. 

      "Steve .. I'd like some advice about balaclavas"

We'd agreed that today we'd ride down the Gloucester-Sharpness canal towpath to Slimbridge Wildfowl and Wetlands centre. The only problem being that .. this morning .. the temperature was registering 0.5 degrees.

     

      "Thermofleece Bob. Definitely not wool. If you find something good, I'll have one too."

The last time I had a balaclava it was a Mountain Equipment Thermofleece - and I'd lost it in Glencoe after taking it off to dig a snowhole. Warm work digging snowholes. Prior to that I'd been about six, and it had been heavy, itchy wool.

Just after lunch Bob duly arrived with two balaclavas and off we went, wending our way across the great divide between Cheltenham and Gloucester to find our canal towpath.

It was cold beside the canal. And grey. And derelict. But our spirits were lifted when we spotted two bears asleep on a bridgekeepers bench, and had a friendly chat with the man himself.

     

 "This time last year," he said, "The bridge expanded in the heat, and we had real problems getting it open." 

So here we are, four days into Spring, and the yet the weather, contrary as ever, has decided to retain the character of Winter, and keep us waiting for warmth.

Is it any wonder then that, last week, in a fit of pique, we booked a holiday to Mallorca.

Looking across to the Severn Estuary from the Gloucester to Sharpness canal.



The Mud Doctor's Wedding

"I am never at my best in the early morning, especially a cold morning in the Yorkshire spring with a piercing March wind sweeping down from the fells, finding its way inside my clothing, nipping at my nose and ears."

                                                                                       James Herriot – Yorkshire vet

Geologists, Dr Matt Jones and Keely spend a large part of their working lives drilling for mud samples, which are then dissected, analysed and pondered over in the most scholarly fashion. Talking mud, they fell in love, and this eventually led to Giggleswick Parish church, on one of the coldest march days in recent memory.  The same day last year we were sunning ourselves in shorts and T-shirts! Oh the vagaries!

Keely wore a backless dress – and I, late for the wedding and having had no time to change, sat and watched, wearing my thermal skin, shirt, hoodie, gilet, coat, scarf and gloves, but thankfully, no hat. I’m not a hat person. But I still felt cold.

“I was all warmed up on the adrenaline”, she said. And if they could have plugged her into the National Grid, her 1000 watt smile would have lit up the lives of all those in the 2000 homes on the Isle of Arran, who’s electricity had gone down that very same day.

We spent the reception sat with a roost of retired teachers, counting the cruise destinations they’d been to, and eating a roast (with Yorkshire Puddings).

But Yorkshire itself was most definitely cold. Cold and very, very white.

However, the low slung Plough Inn, in Wigglesworth proved to be a haven of warmth and Yorkshire hospitality.

Tea arrived. “Any chance of some biscuits?

“Aye ... I’ll get ye some biscuits”, said the affable landlord, whereupon his wife, the bustling landlady appeared, seemingly out of thin air, and said, “Nay ... I’ll get you some biscuits – e’ll get ye the rubbish. I’ve got the good ones!”  And she did.

On the way home, cruising down the M6, Joni Mitchell came on the radio, singing,

Oh I could drink a case of you darling
And I would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet

A memorable lyric in a truly great love song.

Listen to Joni Mitchell - A case of you

Krispy Creme Donuts!

Every Thursday I take the scholars for a double period of Geography. By this time in the afternoon we're falling over a little. It's the day before the penultimate day of the week (this being a six day school) and there's always that feeling around  - that perhaps a little boost is required.

I started it I'm afraid. Early in September, it's 3.30pm and I popped out a few Kit Kats. 'This'll give us the impetus to get through till 4.10,' I said.

The following week, one of the girls brought out a Coffee Cake, the week after that it was Giant choc chip cookies - and so it has gone on. Everyone has taken a turn - the rules evolving until everything has to be home made.

Until today.

The last full day of the term - and it's Krispy Creme donuts - and mine was the splendid little number above. Initially I turned it down. 'I'm on a fitness kick'.

'But you started it! You have to have one!

And so it came to pass (it was really rather lovely)

My house, in the middle of my street (amended)

We had a lovely Matron in Wilton House called Lily. Sadly, she had to leave us when her husband secured a position in the warmer climes of Oman and decided that his needs had priority over ours. Quite right too.

So one Sunday morning I embarked on this watercolour, to give her when she left. This is where we all live. The Wilton Lawn faces south and on a sunny summer day, it's truly the place to be. Remember those sunny summer days Lily? 2010 wasn't it?

A few thoughts on the week

There was a couple cycling into town today, highly visible in their fluorescent yellow jackets. 'Very sensible,' thought I. And then I noticed that the fellow was also sporting a fluorescent showercap affair over his helmet too. Looking like a matchstick, but with a shiny yellow striking end.

No. That's all there is to say about that. Just no.

Other news ......

Bradley Wiggins, Chris Froome and Ian Stannard have been ripping up the roads lately on behalf of us Brits. Good on yer lads - but have I tuned in to watch on Eurosport?  No. Exams, reports, boarding strategies, life in general all got in the way. So again .. just no.

And have I enjoyed significant weight loss this week? Again .. no.

But I have enjoyed reading Donna Leon's Inspector Brunetti novels in those early morning and late evening slots. And I did manage to watch two episodes of 'Borgen' - the excellent Danish drama about the inner workings of Parliament. No real action, loads of political dialogue and lots of sitting around cabinet tables drinking coffee. Great artwork on the walls though - just don't try to do anything else whilst watching - subtitles!

And I did manage a thirteen mile ride on Tuesday morning - during which I mused on life in general - and pondered which coffee shop to drop into on the way home. A slow ride, a fatburning ride - a pre breakfast ride - designed to get the metabolism going before you tuck into granola and yoghurt. We'll see how that goes then.

Say hello!

Recently, I posted a joke about a bicycle. It drew a comment from someone who said "That's my favourite joke too!" I was thrilled! Someone had read my blog!

And now I've discovered the stats button. And there seem to be regular visits from the USA, Germany and one single individual from Singapore!

Originally, I wanted to use this blog as  'dumping ground' for memories and musings - so they didn't get lost. But now I like the idea that others are reading it too and I'm keen for feedback, so I know I'm talking to someone.

Also, writing a blog just about cycling does see a little limiting - and I do like to write....so I've decided to add snippets of other stuff from time to time, and continue to post the odd picture that's nothing to do with Velomania.

In the UK we are gradually emerging from another dreary bout of weather. Mornings are lighter, evenings longer and we're grabbing every opportunity to get out for some Vitamin D when the sun puts in an appearance. Jo makes a point of grabbing the seat in the sunshine when we venture out for coffee - in this case Cafe Rouge in Cheltenham. However, still not that warm, hence the favourite puffy jacket!

So.... are you out there? If you check in ..... post a comment? A bientot!